I decided to marry the girl of my dreams after we'd dated for about three years. We have a great relationship and we both have fulfilling careers. During the last few months though, my wife has become very demanding and is pushing me to spend more time with her at home and even going as far as planning my social life for me. This is a challenge because it means leaving work earlier and earlier and even giving up time with my friends. I love her, but I am finding her demands to be unreasonable and really hard to meet. It is a side of her I haven't seen before. How can I balance my wife's demands with my own wants from life?

New beginnings can be an exciting time. They also have a funny way of being stressful especially when the "honeymoon" period is over. It is perfectly normal to experience stress in the early years of marriage. In fact, many people like you find that it requires radical adjustment especially with today's busy lifestyles. There are many demands for a person's time. Work, family responsibilities, community involvement, and time for self make it difficult to juggle these different roles. With a multitude of demands, many couples have difficulty finding time to spend with their spouse let alone, time for themselves.

First, I think it is very important to develop and maintain a healthy communication between you and your wife. This includes talking about problems, worries and other matters of interest whether they are trivial or important. Second, open communication includes another integral step, listening. Listening strengthens a relationship by conveying messages of care and respect. This might require setting aside time that both of you are comfortable with and ensuring there are no distractions and/or interruptions. Once you have created this environment, you can then talk about how you feel about her plans regarding your social life versus what are your responsibilities and ways you want to spend your time outside of work. You may be able to work out a plan that allows both of you to spend time with each other, while at the same time allowing each partner to pursue his or her own interests. Remember, negotiation and compromise may be necessary.

If you or your wife would like to talk to a counsellor about these issues, feel free to call your dedicated number. I hope this information helps and leads you to a healthy resolution.