My husband of 55 years passed away almost a year ago. This was devastating for my family and I've since moved in with my oldest daughter, and in doing so I left behind my close ties with friends and family in the east coast. I miss my husband every day, and as much as I appreciate spending time with my children and grandchildren I miss my independence and feel as though I am a burden. I'd like to have a chance to socialize with people my own age and make new friends. What can I do to regain my own life back, I don't need babysitting!

First I want to send my condolences to you and your family. It is perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do. A grieving person will often go through a wide range of emotions including, shock, guilt, sadness, fear, and anger for many months after the loss of their loved one and these feelings can be overwhelming. It is often hard looking to the future and redefining oneself after the death of a loved one, especially after losing your husband of 55 years. I must be wonderful surrounded by your family (your daughter and your grandchildren), but at the same time challenging adjusting to a new setting while having to cope without familiar surroundings and friends nearby. Just remember, grieving takes time and cannot be rushed.

I think it is understandable that you yearn to seek to do things on your own and I commend your willingness to look to the future and explore a new social network. First you might find it helpful to set aside some time for yourself to think about what are your interests and/or hobbies. This may include participating in an activity/support group, employment, continuing education or volunteer opportunities that match your needs and interests. This can include taking a course on a topic you have longed to learn about or volunteering for an organization that you have been interested in for years. I have added a few websites that highlight Canadian and U.S. articles, tipsheets, questionnaires and community resources for seniors and those that address information and questions regarding grief and loss.

• The Government of Canada- Seniors On-line
• The U.S. Administration on Aging (AoA)
• The National Council on Aging (U.S.)
• The Canadian Mental Health Association

Remember, if you ever need to speak with a counsellor about these issues or connect with further community resources, please don't hesitate to call your dedicated number. I hope you find this information valuable and I wish you and your family all the best.